Some Wounds Are Permanent
by Darknessovertheforest
Summary: She cracked the biggest case. She found the love of her life. She was set to get married. She had everything she could ask for. Until one mission went too far. Will, she ever be happy again?
1. Chapter 1

**"A/N: This is a new Fanfic that I decided to write and it takes place in the universe of Zootopia. I want to branch out my fanfics mainly because even though I love my little pony I also really like Disney movies and I really enjoyed Zootopia because it dealt with a heavy topic for the world today. Anyway, I do not own any of the characters on the exception of any Original Characters.**

Judy woke up from her sleep and stretched. It was 4 am. Work started at 7 am so she would go for a morning run before her shift. She changed into her jogging pants and her sport's top. She put in her earphones and listened to the new album from Gazelle. She left her apartment and began her run. She had been in Zootopia for nearly 2 years and she was enjoying every day. Especially after she and her partner and now boyfriend Nick Wilde had cracked the biggest case in the city's history. She continued to run her usual route and she greeted all the other animals that passed by that were awake at this time. She passed by a new MMA gym and saw the lights were on. She decided to enter it because she noticed that the trading hours were from 8 am until 8 pm. She walked through the gym and heard grunting and the sounds of punching. She noticed that the gym had an octagon ring. She got closer to the noises of punching and saw a wolf. Black and white, he was wearing a merchandise shirt that on the back read "Leader of The Pack". He was punching a bag and kicking it. He was constantly moving and he was very fast in striking and very powerful. Every punch shook the whole bag on its mount. He stopped and breathed.

Judy walked closer to him and said, "Excuse me." The wolf's ears twitched and he looked at her and said, "Oh, hello. Classes start at 8 am." Judy looked up into his hazel coloured eyes and said, "I could say the same thing about you. You might not realise it but I am part of the ZPD and I have reason to believe that you might be trespassing." The wolf chuckled and said as he knelt down, "Look officer I am a co-owner of this gym and I come here to train before I start my day. Also if I'm not mistaken, you're Judy Hopps ZPD's first-ever bunny cop." Judy was stunned that this wolf knew who she was. "Well sir, I apologise for suspecting you of trespassing. I know it's not right because I am meant to be the least prejudiced, seeing how I am an officer of the law," said Judy in apology. The wolf smiled and said, "Don't worry about it, you were doing your job and I can't fault officers for that." He walked over to the wall and pulled out a card. "If you need anyone to show you some moves feel free to pop in," he said with a wink and a smile. Judy smiled back, thanked him and left to continue on her run. She returned to her apartment at 6 am and took off her running clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water ran down her small body and she washed. She stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself and took out her uniform and dried herself. She pulled on her uniform and headed down the stairs of her apartment as she strolled to the station.

She entered the main door and saw Clawhauser sipping some coffee. "Morning Clawhauser. How did you sleep," she said as she smiled at him. He looked down and happily said, "Judyyyyy, my favourite cop. I slept wonderfully last night, how was your morning run." Judy smiled and said, "It was great thanks. I went into that new MMA gym and met a wolf." "OMGoodness Judy was he cute," Clawhauser asked with a sly smile on his face. Judy only rolled her eyes and said, "Oh Clawhauser, you know Nick and I are a couple." "Still there's no harm in looking," Clawhauser giggled. Judy laughed and smiled at him as she continued on her way. She saw the distinctive red tail of her partner in preventing crime. "Morning Nicky," she said as she walked over. Nick turned and said, "Morning carrots." They hugged and shared a quick kiss. Nick handed her a coffee and they walked together.

"So how was the morning run," Nick asked as they entered the briefing room. "Well you know how I feel about staying in shape, so it was really good," Judy replied. "Anything exciting happen," Nick asked as he sipped his coffee. "Only that I went into the new MMA gym because I thought the co-owner was trespassing," Judy replied sitting on the table. Nick looked and asked, "How did that go?" "Not bad actually, he was a really nice guy about it and even said I could go there to pick up some moves," said Judy as she pulled out the card to show Nick. "Wolves Fighting Academy. We teach all animals great and small in the art of self-defense. "Was he a wolf," Nick asked. "Yes he was, why you jealous," Judy teased. Nick blushed slightly and said, "What nooo, of course not, just they have that whole howling thing and it's annoying." Judy giggled and said, "Why Nick, I'm flattered that you're slightly jealous." Nick blushed even more. At that moment Chief Bogo walked in and said, "Alright you animals, quiet down. I've got today's assignments." He handed them out to each of the officer teams. "Hopps and Wilde," he called. They stood up and walked over to the buffalo. "You two have an investigation case. Supposedly there's a shipment of a strange drug. It apparently causes animals to develop psychosis and commit suicide within a week of coming into contact with it." "Sounds serious Chief," said Judy in a stern voice. "It is, that's why you'll be teaming up with the new ZPD Strike Force," Bogo said with legitimate concern in his eyes. "I want you two to be extra safe on this assignment. The last one was dangerous but I fear this is much worse. If things get too heated you pull out and leave it to the strike force." Judy and Nick nodded. Bogo adjourned the briefing and headed to his office.

Judy and Nick left to their Police Car and drove out of the garage. "Wow, I didn't know the chief could be so dramatic," said Nick as he put a lollipop in his mouth. "I don't know Nick, this could be bad. Bogo looked really scared," said Judy as she drove. Nick pulled up the file and looked at where to meet the Strike Force. "Nick…" Judy began. "Yes," Nick asked with concern. "There's something under your seat," Judy continued. Nick reached down under his seat and pulled out a new laptop."Happy Anniversary Nicky," she said with a smile on her face. Nick looked at her and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, carrots, I needed a new one since my old one decided to kick the bucket, he said. "You're welcome," Judy said. Nick sighed and said, "I guess I have to give you your gift now." Judy grinned and said, "You don't have to. Especially if it's really special." Nicked turned his back to her and opened the small box he was hiding. He nodded to himself. They pulled up to a red light and Judy slowed to a stop. Nick cleared his throat, "Judy, I know we've only been together for a short time but I want you to know that you make me so happy. So I wanted to ask you." Judy looked at him. Nick pulled out the box and opened it to an engagement ring. "Will you marry me," he asked. "Awwwww, Nicky…Of course, I will," Judy said with tears in her eyes. Nick removed the ring from the box and slipped the ring onto Judy's finger. They kissed and headed over to the meetup point.

They arrived at the area and saw the Strike Force had already set up a base of operations. They climbed out of the car and made their way toward a heavily armoured lioness. "Excuse me," said Judy. The lioness looked down and said, "Oh, officer Hopps and officer Wilde. Great to see you made it. I'm Sergeant Zira." Judy and Nick shook her paw and were filled in. "We are expecting the ship carrying the contraband to arrive in the harbour in a few days' time. What we need is intel on the time and the day. That's where you two come in. Specially trained forces are way too obvious," said Zira as she led them to the tent. She led them to a large table where Judy saw the distinctive black fur from this morning. "Yes, Chief Bogo I see they've just arrived safely. I'll keep you posted. Goodbye."

He turned around and said, "Well, I didn't expect to see you twice in one day." Judy smiled and said, "Likewise." "Hello officer Wilde," said the wolf as he extended his paw. Nick shook his paw and said, "Good day." "You never told me you're apart of the strike force," said Judy smirking. "Well, I thought it would be a nice surprise," he said. "My name is Julian," he said. He looked at the map and said, "We've received intel from undercover agents that there are a few dealers of the new drug, we're calling it, AX11. We need you two to get more information as the dealers are catching on to our teams. I'm sure Zira has said that you two are crucial right now." Nick and Judy looked at the map and a copy was sent to Nick's phone. "We need as much information about this new shipment in the next 48 hours. We can only guess that it's coming in soon. Due to fewer animals being admitted to the hospital in the past few days. The drop in admittance shows us that the drug supply is running low," said Julian. "Do we need to use certain methods," Judy asked. Julian leaned in close and said, "We have granted you special clearance to use whatever means necessary to get that information." Judy and Nick looked at each other and knew exactly who to go to. "We'll get it done Julian," said Judy. The two officers left the tent and headed back to their car. After they climbed in they headed to the home of Mr. Big.

The two sat in the office as the polar bears stood guard outside the doors. "So what can I do for you Judy," Mr. Big asked in his distinct accent. "Well sir," Judy began. "Please call me papa, you are family now," said Mr. Big. "Well Papa, we need to get information from some dealers of the new drug that's been sweeping through Zootopia," said Judy. Mr. Big sipped on his tiny martini and said, "You require my polar bears and my icing pool to gain information for a new case. Very well, I shall help you." Judy smiled and kissed his tiny cheeks, his little nose tickling her own. The two-handed over pictures to Mr. Big's polar bears and told them to let them know if anything turned up. Mr. Big gave them his word that they would be contacted immediately with any information. Nick called Julian to let him know that Mr. Big would be an asset to the case. They returned to the ZPD and clocked out of their shift at exactly 18:30 after doing paperwork and reports. They went back to Judy's apartment and relaxed. "I think it went well today," said Nick. "Yeah I think so too," said Judy as she started the shower. She closed the door and opened the window to let the steam out seeing how the ventilation system was out of order and the landlord was getting it fixed soon. Judy stepped inside after taking off her uniform and she embraced the hot water as it ran down her small body. Her ears twitched at the sound of the shower door sliding open and close behind her.

"Mind if I join you, carrots," Nick asked as he massaged Judy. "Oh Nick, you have no idea how much I needed this," she said feeling his paws on her shoulders. Nick smiled and said, "It's the least I could do for my special bunny." Judy turned around and stood on her toes to kiss him. Soon Nick picked her up and pinned her to the wall as the kissing became more heated and passionate. They enjoyed each other in the shower as they became united. A bunny and a fox, an example to the rest of Zootopia and the world, in love and loving each other's company. After the shower, they got dressed. "Shall we head over to our favourite restaurant," Nick asked. Judy smirked and said, "You're my favourite orange coloured food." Nick smirked slyly and said, "You're my favourite dessert as well." They laughed and headed out to the restaurant. Once they arrived they were seated and the menus were brought. The talked about the day and what the plans were for the future. "So when are we actually gonna tie the knot," Nick asked. "Well I do like Spring weddings, or maybe summer because of that hayfever you tend to get," said Judy. "You do know how I sneeze during spring," said Nick smiling. "So summer is fine with me. Where will we have it though," Judy said. Nick rubbed his chin and thought. "Well I would imagine that your parents would be a bit freaked out by you marrying a fox," said Nick. "Not really, they've been working with Gideon ever since I left home. Turns out that I inspired them to trust foxes," replied Judy. Nick smiled and said, "Well, that's a relief. Do you think that they'll approve of us?" Judy held his paws and said, "If they can work with Gideon then they can accept us." Nick smiled and planted a kiss on her cheek. They had dinner and went back to Judy's apartment.

"Thanks, papa. We really do appreciate what you've done for us. We'll consider your offer for the wedding. Yes I promise I'll be at the next reunion," said Judy hanging up her phone. Nick turned the corner and pulled up to the stoplight. "We got the info for Julian," said Judy. "I'll hand it to that Shrew. He can always come through for you," said Nick. Judy placed her own paw on his and said, "You'll be part of the family soon enough." Nick smiled and said, "Hopefully he accepts me." They arrived at the base and headed to the main tent. Julian was looking over the table when they arrived. "Do you have any news," he asked. Judy nodded and handed him a folder with all the information he needed. Julian opened it and said, "This is good. You two did a really good job. According to this information, the new shipment is gonna be here in a few hours. I'll get the team ready. Chief Bogo told me that you are both capable of heading in with the team. But, he did tell me that if things get heated to get you out." He led them to Zira and said, "Zira, make sure they get armour for the strike tonight. They'll be part of Delta team with you." "You got it, boss." Julian nodded and looked at Judy and Nick and knelt down to them. "You two should get some rest. Be back here at exactly 7 pm," he put reassuring paws on their shoulders and said, "See you tonight."

_A few hours later…_

Judy and Nick suited up into the Strike Force armour. They slipped on the knee pads, elbow pads, bulletproof vests, and helmets. They placed their half masks around their necks and their goggles on their helmets. They reported to Zira who escorted them to the briefing tent. Julio stood on a stage dressed in his armour in front of a map and information being projected onto a canvas. He addressed the force. "Tonight, we are going to intercept a shipment of AX11. For those who do not know, this drug causes psychosis and then the victim commits suicide a week later. From the information gathered by the ZPDs finest, it seems as though due to more awareness of the drug, fewer animals are taking it which means the shipment coming in is going to be used as a weapon and will be highly guarded. No doubt a group of professional soldiers. The military has been sent to where the drug is shipped from to destroy it and the organisation who creates it. We will be the last piece in this game of chess. I shall lead Alpha team in while Echo Team comes through the roof. Delta team will flank round to the west wing of the building. Permission to use deadly force on hostiles is granted. Good luck to us all. Dismissed.

Judy and Nick followed Zira. They were handed their weapons and made their way to the truck they'd be transported in. Once they were in they looked at some of the other animals in the truck. Some were lions, tigers, rhinos, cheetahs, kangaroos, other wolves, even a few bunnies. Eventually, Zira got on and closed the tailgate. The truck groaned to life and lurched forward as it made its way to the harbor with two others. Nick and Judy looked around at the faces of Delta Team. Some were somber, others straight-faced. There were a few that had a bit of fear in their eyes. Judy could tell that some were rookies and others knew what they were doing. Eventually, she placed her paw on Nick's. They looked at each other and Judy leaned on his shoulder. Her heart was racing. It felt as though her heart was making her deaf that's how silent it was. The only other thing she could hear was the wind passing the truck and the sound of the tires on the road. Zira stood up and switched places with a wolf across from Judy and Nick. "You two alright," she asked. Judy looked at her yellow eyes and said, "It's the first time we've been a part of something like this. I guess you can say, we're scared." "If you weren't I'd be worried. It never gets easier in all honesty, how many animals I've seen come and go throughout the years is more than I can count. We've also lost so many in these operations, especially with ambushes," said Zira. The truck began to slow down and Judy could smell the ocean. Zira walked to the back and said, "Alright listen up. This is a big operation and expect heavy resistance, remember the use of deadly force is authorised. Follow my lead and we'll make it out alive." She opened the tailgate of the truck and the team dropped onto the ground. Zira kneeled to Nick and Judy and said, "If you two can't handle this, remember to pull out of the hot zone and radio for Bravo team who are on standby." Judy and Nick nodded and jumped down followed by Zira.

The team made their way to the west side of the building. Judy's radio was working and she could hear the conversations between the squad leaders. "Alpha team approaching." "Echo team en-route. Looks like some heavy weather approaching." "Delta team heading into position." Judy was next to Nick as they moved through the brush that the west entrance was facing. Zira raised a fist and the team stopped moving. Judy seized the opportunity to pull the face mask down and whispered to Nick, "I love you." Nick did the same and whispered back, "I love you too." After that, they pulled the masks back on and the squad started to move forward again. "Delta team, hostiles posted at the door." "Got them insight. Sniper locked and loaded." "Roger that, weapons live." Judy looked towards the entrance and saw two bodies drop. That was the first time she had seen a sniper in action. "More hostiles at the front entrance." "Alpha team, weapons live, take them out." The guards dropped as well. Alpha team reached the main entrance and planted breaching explosives. "Alpha team ready to breach. Delta team, Echo team what are your positions?" "Echo team ETA 2min." "Delta team in position." Judy looked up and saw a helicopter hovering over the building and Echo Team rappelled down onto the roof. Then the order came in. "Breach breach breach." The explosives went off and Alpha team breached the entrance. Echo team broke the skylight and rappelled. The west entrance was breached and Judy followed the rest of the squad in.

Before she could even process what was going on she heard the radio spring to life. "Hostiles!" "Return fire!" Judy got through the door and saw bullets whizzing through the air. She saw bullets spark against the steel structures inside the building. She instinctively ran for cover behind some steel barrels. She lifted her gun and peaked over them and ducked whenever she saw a muzzle flash of a gun pointed in her direction. She took aim through the scope and started firing as well. She couldn't tell if she was hitting any hostiles but she kept firing anyway. She heard grenades going off and she tried to look for the D of delta team on any troops. She tried to look for Nick but couldn't see him through the chaos. She looked around and saw animals dropping left right and centre. She reloaded her gun and locked it in order to start shooting. She gave support from the barrels even if she didn't kill anyone. She knew she had hit a few due to some being injured when she fired. She was panting heavily and could barely hear the radio. "Holy shit!" "Bravo team we need sniper support." "Copy that Alpha team snipers moving into position." "Targets have red and white armbands!"

Judy looked above her on the walkway and saw sniper bullets shatter the glass as it fired on the docked ship. She also noticed rain pouring from the broken skylight. She looked to her right from the barrels and saw a wolf make their way over to her. "Judy, are you okay?" It was, Julian. Judy nodded. She was so scared that she forgot how to speak. Julian ducked and opened fire back at where shots were coming from. "Judy, do you need to get out of here," he asked. Judy looked around at the squads and replied, "I'm staying. No matter what." She couldn't tell but Julian smiled at her bravery. Judy moved to some of Delta squad behind some crates. They provided cover fire for her to get behind the crates. She joined them with firing on the hostiles. She used her radio to ask the members if they had seen Nick. The cheetah nodded and pointed to Zira who was heading an attack with Nick providing cover. Judy nodded in thanks and moved forward. The radio was both relief and anguish for her. "Keep pushing forward." "Dammit, we lost Tan." "Echo team is getting pinned we need support." "Copy that Echo team, Bravo team take aim on the south-east side. Hostiles marked with a laser."Judy ducked behind cover and provided fire whenever she could. Eventually, she made her way to Zira and Nick. Zira was also accompanied by another wolf. "Nick are you okay," Judy asked competing with the gunfire and the explosions. "Yeah, are you," he replied competing as well. "Keep your eyes on the hostiles love birds," said Zira over her radio. Nick and Judy took aim and provided cover fire. "Alpha team we've got an unidentified aircraft heading towards the building….crackle….it's…crackle…wait…oh, shi…."

Suddenly, Judy heard over the radio. "HOLY FUUUUU!"…"The sound of jet engines flew over and there was a massive explosion. Judy's eyes were flickering open and closed. She could hear a massive ringing in her ears. It was deafening. She felt extreme heat as well. She saw bodies everywhere. She saw that distinct red tail. She tried to stand but fell over. So she crawled over to it. There was fire but she could still make out his tail. As she crawled she noticed that her armour was damaged, including her gloves. She saw the ring he gave her on her finger and kept crawling. She coughed into her right paw and saw blood, but she kept pushing forward. No matter how much pain she was in. No matter how hot it was from the fire. No matter if her leg was broken. She crawled towards him. She looked up and saw the ship on fire as well and it had sunk lower in the water. Debris was falling from the ceiling. She crawled nevertheless."Once she reached him she crawled onto him and pulled at his arm. The smoke blinded her as well as her cracked goggles. She took off her goggles and the heat burned her eyes and made them water. She tried to drag him away but it was not easy. "Why didn't we leave when we had the chance. Where did that bravery come from?"She tried pulling again but her small body wasn't strong enough. It didn't help she was also injured. She heard the radio crackle and she tried calling for Bravo team but the radio simply crackled in response. She came to the conclusion that it was damaged. She tried with her last ounce of strength to pull him but her body gave out and she fell forward. She had one eye open and placed her paw inside of his and she closed her eyes.

**A/N: Well that's the end of this chapter. Yes, it is different from what I usually do but hopefully, you guys like it. Anyway, see you in the next chapter. ; )**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone. After seeing a decent reception of chapter one. I decided to continue this story. Yes, this is rated M for mature themes, language, and many other elements. I do not own any rights to Zootopia or its characters. I only own OC and original ideas and content. Enjoy; )**

Judy tried opening her eyes but she flickered in and out of consciousness. She was being dragged away. Every time she managed to be awake she was being pulled further from the flames. She could faintly hear the sound of sirens. She eventually felt the splash of raindrops on her exposed body parts. She opened her eyes and saw what was left of the building. Nothing more than a mangled mess of fire and steel. Her hearing had somewhat returned but sounds and voices were muffled. "She's breathing but barely." "We need to get her to the hospital." "What about the rest of the squad members?" "We need to check but chances are slim." Eventually, Judy was laid onto a stretcher and was wheeled into an ambulance. It blared its sirens loudly and headed to Zootopia Hospital. Judy looked up and saw paramedics working on her. They inserted an IV Drip for fluids.

Eventually, the ambulance arrived at the hospital. They wheeled Judy out and doctors were immediately checking her. Nurses were checking her vitals. "We need to check for any injuries." She looked up and saw nothing but white lights zooming past her. She could feel they were checking her body. "Seems to be a broken leg." "Lungs took a lot of smoke." She passed out again. She could still hear the muffled voices. "Lacerations on her torso." "She'll be in a cast and out of action." The doctors worked long into the night. Not just on Judy, but any other squad members that came in after her. All Judy could actually think about was Nick. "Please let them save him. He's the most important thing to me. I love him. We're getting married.

Judy's eyes fluttered opened and she looked around. She was in a hospital room. She looked to her right and saw a drip and a heart-rate monitor. She looked to her left and saw some flowers and other gifts from the ZPD. She tried to sit up but winced in pain. It came from her ribs. She rubbed them and caught a glimpse of her cast on her right leg. She also saw she had bandages on her wrist and a few bandaids on her arms. She clicked the button on the bed remote and it lifted her up into a sitting position. At that moment, a nurse entered the room. "Oh glad to see you awake," she was a leopard. "Where am I," Judy asked. "You're in the Hospital Officer Hopps," said the nurse checking the drip and the monitors. "What happened," Judy asked. The leopard frowned and said, "There was a missile strike at the dock. Once it happened our ambulances rushed over along with the ZPD." Judy groaned at the pain in her ribs. The nurse looked over and said, "Let me check that for you." The nurse lifted Judy's scrub and checked her chest and said, "Seems as though there's still some severe bruising. You have to take everything slowly." Judy nodded and asked, "Is Nick okay?" The nurse looked at her and said, "Unfortunately, I am assigned to you only. But I will ask around for you." Judy nodded and thanked her. She rested her head on the pillow and sighed.

She couldn't believe she was in the hospital. "What went wrong," she asked herself. She reached for the TV remote and switched it on. The first thing she saw was the news. The anchors were speaking about the missile strike. "The strike happened at 11 pm last night and it was absolutely devastating. Many of the newly formed ZPD Strike Force were killed and several injured in this attack. We are told that Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde were inside when the missiles hit." _So it wasn't just one? I just hope Nick is okay. Hopefully, I'll be able to see him soon._ She changed the channel and watched a movie that was playing. She dozed off at some stage because when she woke up again she saw that another movie was playing. After a few hours of being bored out of her mind, her door opened and Chief Bogo stepped inside. "Hopps, how are you holding up," he asked as he took a seat next to her bed. "I've never had this pain before. I think it's my first injury on active duty," said Judy. Chief Bogo nodded and then said, "Well, we're all wishing you a speedy recovery down at the station." "Thanks, Chief. Have you heard anything about Nick," Judy asked. Bogo sighed and said, "Well, you see Hopps…It's not easy to say." Judy looked at him concerned. He sighed again and said, "You see Hopps… He took a lot of damage during the strike and well he's in a bad shape." "But is he alive," Judy asked immediately. Chief Bogo scratched his neck and said, "Yes, he's alive and the Doctors are doing everything they can to get him up and going again." Judy sighed in relief. "Thanks for seeing me Chief," she said. Bogo nodded and said, "If you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to the station." Judy watched him leave and noticed his face, it seemed to show pain and anguish. She shrugged it off as him just being worried about her and also from the shock of the missile strike. At 13:00 she was given lunch and Judy couldn't lie that it was absolutely dreadful. She didn't enjoy it one bit. Luckily when Clawhauser came to visit, he brought her some decent snacks like a donut and some chocolate. He cheered her up and after he left she went back to watching TV.

Eventually, the nurse arrived again to check on her and examine her as well. "I saw my chief today. He told me Nick is in critical condition but alive," she said. The nurse nodded in agreement. "You have a visitor," she said as she opened the door. It was Julian. Secretly she wished it was Nick but Judy enjoyed the company. "How are you doing," he asked as he sat on the bottom half of the bed. Judy looked into his eyes and said, "Well, to be honest. I think I'm still reeling from what happened." Julian nodded and said, "Somehow our signal was jammed. That's why we couldn't hear the warning about the jets. The second we realised what was going on everything went up in flames." Judy looked at him and saw a scar above his right eye and several stitches on his arms. She also saw his right arm was in a sling and cast. He noticed this and said, "A beam fell on my arm and snapped both bones. Despite a forearm pad, it just shows you how heavy beams are. Some of these stitches are from bullet holes and I have more on my back from a combination of an oil drum blowing up behind me and shrapnel piercing my back." Judy winced and grasped her lungs. "When the explosion went off, you were only a few meters away. The shockwave knocked you back and you slammed into a railing. Right, where your armour connects," Julian explained. She looked up and said, "I don't remember much." "You were out cold until you started crawling to Nick. I saw you from the other side of the building. Even in that state of pain you still tried to radio for help. Luckily your message went through and Bravo team started a rescue operation," said Julian "I think I remember being pulled out of the building," said Judy softly massaging her ribs. Julian looked at her and said, "I was the one who dragged you out. I checked you and started pulling you out. By that time the ambulances and the rest of the ZPD arrived." "Did you pull Nick out as well," Judy asked. "I did go back for him and managed to pull him out as well," Julian replied. He got up and left for his room.

Judy soon went to sleep from her exhaustion. She struggled to sleep though. The sound of bullets and the missile strike plagued her dreams. She woke up and saw that it was at least 6 am. She stretched her arms ever so gently and slowly as not to flood her body with pain from her bruises. She hated being stuck in bed. She wanted at least to try and visit the other members of the strike force. Eventually, the doctor came to see her. "Well, it seems as though your ribs were bruised during the explosion. You do have to take it easy. The good news is that you'll be coming off the drip today and will be allowed to walk on crutches for a bit. Then you'll be discharged after a few days. Don't worry I did tell your chief that you'll be off duty until your cast comes off," the doctor explained. Judy nodded and was given some crutches. Judy got off her bed slowly and landed on her good leg. She grabbed her crutches and hobbled her way to a lounge for patients. She saw a few other patients and a few of the strike force. She saw Zira sitting at a small table. Judy made her way over to her. "Zira," she asked. The lioness turned around and Judy gasped. Zira had lost her left leg in the missile strike. "It's bad, I know. It was trapped underneath roof debris. Doctors did everything they could but in the end, they couldn't save it," said Zira. Judy hopped up onto the chair next to her and said, "I'm so sorry Zira." "Don't worry about it. They jammed our signals and hit us fast and hard. The only thing I'm kind of upset about is that now I have to resign from the force," she said sadly. "So who else from Delta squad made it," Judy asked. "Not many. Many of them were K.I.A. I only know of three others that are in ICU and one of them is Nick," said Zira. At that moment Julian walked over to them and said, "Glad to see you up and about." Zira frowned. "Zira… I know it is very hard to leave the force especially after so much. We will give you the proper send-off you deserve," said Julian holding her paw in his.

The three talked for hours until they needed to return to their rooms. Judy hobbled into her room and got onto her bed. She panted because she hadn't fully recovered. She got a few visitors today and she was given her pain medication and was given her check-up. She still longed to see Nick, but she understood that ICU was no joking matter. She knew she couldn't see him at least until the doctors said that he could see visitors. The next few days she got used to walking on crutches and visiting Zira and Julian. They would sometimes visit her. Eventually, the three of them were moved into a shared ward. At least, Judy would have animals to talk to instead of her just being bored and by herself.

_A few days later…_

Judy was brought some casual clothes from her apartment by Clawhauser and she got changed. Pulling her pants over the cast was difficult but at least it was a yoga pants. She pulled on her t-shirt and picked up her crutches. She headed over to the reception and signed herself out, picked up her belongings and left. She hobbled out of the hospital and waved down a cab. She got inside and told it where to go. She looked out of the window and watched the buildings go by. Once she arrived she paid the driver and headed into her apartment. She would have to get used to climbing steps on crutches. Once she reached her apartment she opened the door and sat on her bed. She did think about leaving this apartment seeing how she was earning a fair enough salary to get a better one. She scrolled through apartment ads and she definitely liked the few that caught her eye.

She got a call from her parents and she answered. "Hey, guys." "Yes, I'm okay." "Just some bruised ribs and a broken leg." "I haven't seen Nick yet." "He's been in ICU." "I guess they'll call me or let Chief Bogo know." "I'll try to visit when I can." "Alright, I love you too." She hung up and looked out her window. She sighed and then looked down at the ring Nick gave her. She rubbed the clear stone and thought about her future with Nick. "I guess we'll get a donor for the babies. Not like I'd want as many as my siblings though," she said to herself. She pulled one of her drawers and pulled out a notebook and pen. She wrote down everything she wanted at her wedding. She wrote down who she wanted to be the bridesmaids and maid of honour. She knew what flavour she wanted for the cake. She knew she would have to get a dress and she still had to consider the venue. She knew she would have to talk to Nick about that though.

She switched on her tv and laid back on the bed. She dozed off and dreamed of her wedding to Nick. It was perfect. Everything was just perfect. She woke up and looked at her clock to see it was already 5 pm. She sighed and decided to order a pizza. She waited by her door so she wouldn't have to hobble. Once it arrived, she paid for the pizza and ate in silence. Her mind was elsewhere. She realised how lonely the apartment actually was. She hated the cast the most because it limited her movements. She would have to spend time with animals that could make it up the stairs and not a very big animal. She decided that Julian would probably be the best choice right now. She got up and took off her t-shirt. She didn't bother with her yoga pants cuz they were already comfortable and she would usually sleep in them as well. The only difference was that she had bandages over her chest and her left shoulder which had actually been dislocated when she failed to pull Nick out of the building. She laid on her bed and went right to sleep.

She woke up at around 8 am and slowly stretched. Her ribs didn't hurt as much as when she was in the hospital. She got up and hobbled over to the shower. She picked up a plastic bag and wrapped her cast up and took off her yoga pants and her underwear. She leaned against the wall and washed. She stepped out of the shower and hobbled to her bed. She got out a pair of underwear and slipped them on. She put on a button-up shirt but realised that the look would look best with a pair of jeans. She struggled for minutes before she eventually gave up. She looked at her phone and sighed. She also picked up the MMA card and called Julian. I don't know why I'm calling him out of all the animals I could've asked. After, a few minutes, she heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she called. Julian stepped inside and asked, "What's wrong?" Judy sighed and said, "I need help getting my jeans on." Julian smiled and walked over. Judy laid back and held her legs straight. Julian smirked and said, "I see it's a full moon out." Judy blushed and said, "You're not funny." Julian chuckled and said, "You can at least ask me out to dinner first." Judy blushed harder and stifled a giggle. "Just get the jeans on," she said. Julian helped Judy and she thanked him. "I'm not doing anything interesting today. If you need to do errands today, you can ride with me today," said Julian. Judy smiled and said, "Yes I do actually. Thank you for the offer." Judy got her handbag and her crutches. She hobbled out of her apartment and Julian closed the door and locked it for her. Julian picked her up and carried her all the way to his car. _His chest looks so strong. Wait did I just think that?_

She was placed into the passenger seat of his red sports car and he jumped into the driver's seat and started the car. It roared to life. He drove to the store and helped Judy out of the car. He grabbed a trolley and they walked together. "So when is that cast coming off," Julian asked as they walked the aisles. "In six weeks time," said Judy who was next to him. Julian helped her with picking up the groceries and kept her stable when she had to pay. "Maybe you should stay with someone," Julian suggested as they loaded the boot of his car. "Unfortunately, the only one I would've stayed with is Nick," said Judy. Julian scratched his chin and said, "How about you come to stay with me." Judy looked at him and asked, "Are you sure?" Julian nodded and said, "Sure it's no problem." Judy smiled and said, "Well, I guess I can't pass on an offer like that." They went back to her apartment and packed her duffle bag with her clothes and toiletries.

They got back in the car and drove. They arrived in the grassland district and drove up to a good looking house. Julian parked the car in the garage and helped Judy up the stairs. He allowed her to have the guestroom on the ground floor so she wouldn't have to climb any stairs. Judy placed her bag on the bed and checked the en-suite bathroom and saw there was a bath and a shower. She took out her phone and texted the landlord to her apartment that she wouldn't be there for six weeks. Julian smiled and asked, "Is this good for you?" Judy turned and nodded. He smiled and said, "If you need anything don't be afraid to shout." "I will," said Judy smiling. Julian left and Judy sat on the bed.

She turned on the TV and saw that it had Netflix and she logged onto the WiFi. She had never seen so many shows before in her life. She ended up binging three shows and many movies. She got along with Julian and they lived well together. Judy was getting used to the crutches and was actually getting better. She still waited to hear from the hospital about Nick. She didn't know that the news she was waiting for would come at a time she wouldn't expect.

_Six weeks later…_

Judy arrived at the hospital and sat in the waiting room. The doctor called her and she moved into his office as he looked at her x-rays and said, "Looks like you've healed up well. We'll get you out of that cast now, you'll just need to wear an ankle brace for two weeks and you'll be back to normal." Judy smiled as the cast came off and she gagged at the smell, luckily they bathed her leg and foot which smelled better afterward. She put on the ankle brace and walked out of the office. As she stepped into the hall she saw Chief Bogo. She saw the look of sadness and defeat on his face. Bogo caught her in the corner of his eye and sighed. She looked at him with concern

He excused himself from the doctor he was speaking with and walked over to her. Judy looked up at the buffalo who kneeled to one knee. "Listen, Hopps. They have an update on Wilde." He spoke in a deep tone and one that was saddened and sullen. "Is Nick okay," she asked. Bogo sighed deeply and looked into her purple eyes. "I'm sorry Hopps… He didn't make it." Judy couldn't believe it. No, she wouldn't believe it. "How could you lie," she asked in anger. Bogo shook his head and said, "Hopps, please…" Judy pushed past him and ran to the ICU. She ran as fast as she could. Her leg began to pain from the way she was pushing. She didn't care if animals stared she got on all fours and used her natural bunny abilities. She moved with both speed and agility, she hurdled over tables and nurses. She pushed past more doctors and saw a priest entering an ICU room. She pushed past him and jumped onto Nick shaking him. "Nick this isn't funny. Wake the fuck up!" Her tears streamed down her grey cheeks. She looked at him and saw no life in his body. She looked over to the monitors and saw nothing. No heart rate, just a flatline. Eventually, security came and pulled her away. She fought them off as best she could and clung to Nick.

Even Chief Bogo tried to pull her away but she fought as hard as she could as she clung to the fox's lifeless body. She felt a sharp pain in her arm and she blacked out. She woke up in a hospital bed, but she was cuffed to the bed. She sat up and saw Julian standing at the door. "Julian," she asked. He looked up and said, "I heard what happened." Judy looked at him and said, "Tell me it's all a bad dream." Julian walked over and said, "He's gone, Judy. The doctors did everything they could. His body gave up and there was nothing they could do for him." Judy hugged him and cried into his chest. He held her and stroked her ears and rested his chin on her head. "He proposed to me…" Judy whispered as she sobbed. After a few hours of crying and sitting in the room, Chief Bogo came in. "You can go say goodbye to him before they take him to the morgue," he said as he unlocked the cuffs. Judy got up and followed Bogo to the room. When she entered she saw Clawhauser and a few of the other officers. She walked to the bed and saw him. He looked peaceful as though he were sleeping. She stood next to him and rubbed his head and kissed it. She gripped his paw and squeezed it. A part of her hoped that there would be a squeeze back. Nothing. Her tears rolled down her cheeks again and she hugged his chest and whispered, "I love you." She stood up straight and Bogo nodded to the coroners. They walked over to Nick with a wheel-bed and placed him gently onto the bed and wheeled him to the morgue.

Judy walked outside and Julian led her to the car. She sat in silence and had a blank expression on her face. Once they arrived at the house she climbed out and sat on her bed. She looked down at the ring. _Will you marry me? Yes…of course._ She rolled it in her fingers and tears dropped onto her lap. She looked out the window and sighed. She wouldn't be planning a wedding anymore, but instead a funeral. She called anyone she could think of that knew Nick personally. Her parents were called. She even called Nick's mother, who broke down immediately after hearing the news. It didn't take long until the news broke to the public. The news network showed a picture of Nick and his birth year to this year. She even saw Gazelle speaking on how she admired Nick for helping Judy return Zootopia back to the paradise it was.

Judy made arrangements for the funeral with help from Bogo and Julian. Nick would be given a police funeral service and then would be laid to rest in the graveyard. Judy hated this feeling. She cried herself to sleep every night. Every night she hoped that she would wake up from her nightmare, she would wake up in his arms and he would calm her down and tell her he's there. However, it never happened. Judy accepted that this was reality. She refused to answer calls of condolences. Julian would usually comfort her by holding her and calming her down from a nightmare

One night Judy sat up crying. She looked at the time and sighed. She got out of bed and walked up the stairs to Julian's room. She opened the door as softly as she could and entered. She hopped onto the bed and shook his shoulder. He woke up and looked at her. "Is something wrong," he asked. Judy nodded and asked, "Can I sleep here tonight? I just need someone right now." Julian nodded and held the bed open for her. She climbed in and laid next to him. His breathing calmed her and his body was warm. She went to sleep and from that night decided to sleep with him at least until the funeral.

_A few days later…_

Judy pulled on the black police uniform and white gloves. She put her hat on and looked in the mirror. She sighed and wiped some tears away with a tissue. Julian came out in a similar black uniform. They left for the station and saw the hearse was ready but also the carriage that would carry the coffin. Two horses would pull the carriage as they were dressed in black with white ribbons in their manes. The route would be to the ceremony area which was a block away from the graveyard. Judy and Julian got into black cars and arrived at main street where the precession would go through. The coffin was loaded onto the carriage and Chief Bogo would lead the precession while the band played the Edinburgh March in honour of those who had fallen. Judy would walk behind the carriage with the rest of the ZPD on the exception of Julian and Zira making up 2 of 7 rifle animals that will do the 21 gunshot salute.

The precession started when the drums started and the carriage moved. As they walked animals had gathered on the streets and cried as the coffin went past. Some threw white petals from the rooftops. The skies were grey and ominous. As if the sky was also in mourning. Judy kept walking and looked at the coffin. She wiped her eyes when tears started forming. They walked the street and Judy saw many animals crying. Eventually, they arrived she saw everyone she contacted. She took her seat on the stage with Chief Bogo. She saw a picture of Nick doing his signature smirk. She looked at the faces and saw his mother. She had gone grey from her years but she knew the grief. The bagpipes stopped and Chief Bogo got up.

"I would like to thank each and every one of you for attending today. We have all lost someone very special to us all. A cop, a son, a friend, and a partner. Nicholas Wilde signed onto the ZPD to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. He was passionate about his work as a cop and enjoyed it as well. He would always make many of us laugh with his witty humour and he brought light to us even when we were down. We will miss him dearly and he will always be in our hearts." He stepped aside and let Judy take the podium.

"Nick… Was more than just a cop to me. Hell, he was more than a partner. He was my world and my life. We endured the toughest of times together and we made each other stronger emotionally. We fell in love and he proposed to me. I'm very thankful for him being in my life…" She looked at the coffin and fought back the tears. "He made me feel special. He carried me through my lowest point a few years ago. He has been there for me ever since I came to Zootopia. He always told me that even when it's tough I should keep moving forward and never give up on my dreams. It's hard to say goodbye to someone as special as Nick. So, I would rather like to say until we see him again. He was genuinely, a great fella."

Judy sat down again and Julian got up and said, "Atenhut." The rifle animals stood up and pointed to the sky. The order was given and the seven rifles went off three times. Once that was concluded the pallbearers, mainly other officers carried the coffin to the hearse and placed it in. The guests stood up and followed Bogo and Judy as they walked after the coffin. They all reached the graveyard in cars and arrived at the grave. Everyone there threw flowers onto the coffin as it was lowered. The bagpipes were playing Amazing Grace. Once the coffin was in the hole it was filled and then it rained.

**A/N: That's the end of chapter 2. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry that I haven't uploaded last week. I was on holiday and I didn't have time to work on this chapter. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be able to upload chapter 3 soon. Until then have a good one ; )**


	3. Chapter 3

**"A/N: Hey guys and welcome to chapter 3. This story is rated M for mature themes, language, and content. If you are underage I suggest reading something more appropriate. Anyway, I do not own Zootopia or its characters or music or anything. They belong to their respective owners. I only own OCs, ideas and anything else that isn't in Zootopia. Enjoy.**

_6 months later…_

Judy woke up from her sleep in her new house. She looked around and saw that nothing had changed. She had been hoping it was all a bad dream but reality sunk in about 2 months ago. She wasn't the same bunny she was. She didn't enjoy work anymore, she hardly took important cases anymore. She returned to parking duty instead. At least she could get away from everyone who kept giving her condolences and asking how she was. The truth was she wasn't okay. Many of her co-workers urged her to see a psychologist but she refused. She cried herself to sleep every night and sometimes refused to go to work.

Eventually, Bogo had no choice but to suspend her. Judy stayed in bed most days and watched Netflix. She hardly went out anymore mainly due to the fact that she felt alone. The only time she did go out was to fetch groceries but even that basic task became a struggle for her. She refused calls from her parents and didn't reply to any texts. She didn't go for runs anymore. She had no motivation. She always thought she was strong but after what happened she knew deep down that she was weak. Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone started ringing. It was her mom. She sighed and picked up the phone. "Hey, mom." "Yeah, I'm fine." "I don't want to come home, mom." "Tell them I'm busy then." "I'm not going to get help, I'm fine." "I don't want to talk to dad." "Okay, mom. Bye." She hung up and switched her phone off.

She got up and went to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and saw there were no groceries. She sighed and said, "I can go some other time." She closed the fridge and went to the bathroom. She opened the taps for the bath to run. She had moved into a new house which came with a bath and shower. It was a two-bedroom house, small and modest. It had one full bathroom and a guest bathroom with just a shower. She sat on the closed toilet and held her head in her paws. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Once the bath was full she switched off the taps and undressed. She slid into the bath and sat in the silence, the only noise was the last drops of water splashing into the bath from the tap. She looked at the ceiling and her body slid deeper into the bath. She breathed calmly and slid deeper again. Eventually, only her face was above water at this time. She breathed deeply and closed her eyes. "I'm coming Nick." She slipped beneath the surface silently and stayed there.

Her thoughts were blank and she felt the water hold her entire body. She lost feeling in her feet and then her legs. She embraced it. She believed that it was her body shutting down. She felt a heaviness on her chest and she felt as though her life was draining. She began to see a light forming in front of her. She smiled to herself and wanted to walk towards it. She slowly began to go closer to the light. But suddenly, she felt something pull her back from it. She opened felt water rush by her and eventually, the feeling of air and then a hard surface. She felt her chest being compressed and air feeling her lungs. She felt her heartbeat. She coughed and water came out of her mouth and she was rolled onto her side so the water could come out easier. She opened her eyes and looked to her side and saw Julian sitting back panting.

"Why the hell would you do this," she asked in anger. Julian looked at her and said, "I saved your life!" "I never asked you to," retorted Judy as she got up and pushed past him. She didn't care if she was naked. She went to her kitchen and pulled out a large knife and put it on her wrist. Julian grabbed her and pushed her to the ground. "Hey! Get off me," Judy yelled. Julian kept her pinned and said, "NO!" Judy struggled and got on her back so she could use her back legs to scratch at his tore up his shirt and exposed his abs. Julian held her down by her arms. "Killing yourself won't help jack shit," he said in frustration. "Fuck off, you don't know what I'm feeling," Judy yelled. She scratched more of the shirt. Julian tightened his grip on her wrists, "Killing yourself is just a big fuck you to anyone that cares about you, Judy. Your family, friends and the ZPD!" "I don't care anymore, I can't live without him anymore. He was my everything!" Judy began to cry with rage. "Nick loved you and how do you think he would feel if he saw you like this," Julian asked with tears in his eyes. Judy continued to kick harder. "No one will ever love me as Nick did! He was all that I had in this shithole of a city!" Judy said as she tried to wriggle her hands-free from the wolf's grip. "Throwing your life away doesn't solve anything! You'll just hurt everyone else that does love you," Julian yelled. Judy continued to struggle but eventually, she became tired.

"I'm just tired of the pain," she said staring into the distance. Julian sighed and loosened his grip on her. He sat back so Judy could sit up. "I just miss him so much. We were gonna get married and have a family. Now, he's gone and never coming back," said Judy hugging her knees. Julian scooted over next to her and said, "I know it's difficult. Especially, that his last days were confined to a bed. He didn't deserve it, no one in that operation deserved what happened to them. Unfortunately, you and I were the lucky ones that managed to escape with all limbs attached and lives." Judy rested her head on his shoulder and said, "My mom wants me to visit. I didn't want to go, but maybe if you could go with me for support, I could really use a friend." Julian looked at her and asked, "When were you planning on going?" "This weekend," replied Judy as she sighed."Alright then, I'll pick you up on Friday morning," Julian said standing up. Judy grabbed his paw and said, "Please don't leave me alone." Julian looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. He also saw loneliness and need, he saw something that he knew all too well. "I'll pack some bags and come stay with you," he said holding her paw in both of his. "Promise," Judy asked looking into his eyes. Julian nodded once and hugged her, "I won't be gone long I promise." Judy broke down crying and knelt down holding herself. She wept and sat against the cupboards. Julian took off his shirt and placed it over Judy, seeing how he was huge compared to her head managed to fit through the head hole and the rest of her body was covered by the actual shirt. Judy gripped the shirt and held it tightly and cried into it. Julian walked to the front door and went home to start packing.

Judy eventually, stopped crying and sat on the kitchen floor in the damaged shirt. She looked and saw tear stains. She sighed and got up from the floor and went to get changed. She pulled on a t-shirt and jeans. She opened a drawer where she kept needles and thread. She picked out some black thread and sat on her couch and sewed the torn shirt. As she sewed she couldn't get something out of her mind, her perspective when Julian held her down. How he refused to let her wrists go, how she managed to catch glimpses of his ab muscles and how she wanted it to go further than him saving her life. She continued to sew faster the more she thought about the wolf. She sewed faster as she thought of him on top of her and fulfilling her needs. "Ow, shit," she said as she pricked her finger with the needle from being distracted. She finished up the sewing and went to put her finger in a plaster.

A few minutes later, Julian came through the door in a new shirt and one duffle bag. "I'm glad you're still okay," he said dropping his bag and coming over to hug her. Judy sat there feeling his breathing and how safe she felt in his arms. Her nose twitched at his scent, strong and that of an alpha. He let go of her and sighed. "What's wrong," Judy asked. Julian chuckled and said, "Nothing, just glad you're okay." Judy rubbed her arm and said, "Yeah well, not really." Judy hated admitting that she wasn't actually okay and that maybe she should face the reality that she might need help. "I thought about what you said, throwing my life away won't bring Nick back to me and will only cause everyone else to be affected," she said. Julian put his paw on hers and said, "It gets easier." "What," Judy asked. "It gets easier, every day it gets a little easier, but you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part. But, it does get easier," said Julian.

Judy nodded and smiled a bit. "Oh, I fixed your t-shirt," she said picking up the stitched shirt. Julian smiled and said, "Keep it. Maybe it can help you with comfort when you feel alone." Judy smiled slightly and thanked him. Julian occupied the spare room. Julian knocked on the half-open door. "I was wondering if you'd like to order some Chinese food," she asked leaning against the door frame. "Sure, I take a chow mein," said Julian packing out his toiletries. Judy smiled and dialed the restaurant for delivery. She pulled out some cash and waited for the food to arrive. Once it did she paid for it and called Julian to eat. They sat at the table and dined on the food."It's amazing that you can get so much food for the price you pay," said Julian eating with a fork. Judy ate with her chopsticks and didn't comment. "What's wrong Judy," Julian asked concerned. She looked up and said, "How did you know?" Julian raised an eyebrow. "How did you know I was gonna try to…you know," she replied. Julian rested his chin on his knuckles and said, "You don't remember that you called me to come over today. I arrived here and rang the bell. Knocked on the door. You never answered so I tried calling you but your phone was off, luckily your door was open and I could smell that something was wrong." Judy nodded and said, "I see." She continued eating but after a few more bites she couldn't stomach anymore. "You can finish that if you want," she said as she jumped off the chair. Julian watched her walk sadly to her room. He sighed and said to himself, "Hopefully, this visit back home will help her."

Judy came out of her bathroom in her pajamas and hopped onto her bed. She turned her phone on and saw the missed call from Julian as well as many others and many messages. She read the unimportant ones and replied to the ones she wanted to reply to. She went to her mom's number and messaged her. She switched her phone to silent and put it on charge. She laid back in her bed and looked at the ceiling. She stared at it and her brain kept wandering to a certain wolf. She thought of how he saved her even though she never asked him to. "Does he really care about me," she asked herself. Then she thought about how he didn't even care she was naked when they struggled. He didn't care about how she ruined his shirt. He kept her from doing permanent damage. She grew frustrated with herself when she couldn't stop thinking about him. Eventually, she decided to try and get some sleep. She closed her eyes and went to sleep. However, she couldn't escape something when she slept. Her subconscious desire. Her dreams were of her and Julian. Becoming closer and being more intimate. She dreamed of their struggle earlier however, it ended very differently. She shook her head in her sleep and the dreams changed. She looked across the hallway and saw Nick walking. She chased after him but it was no use, she couldn't stop Nick from going into the white door. Then she was in the warehouse and it was burning. She tried saving Nick again but this time there were more soldiers and they were shooting survivors which included Nick and herself.

She sat up crying audibly and she wailed in the darkness. Julian ran in and hugged her to his chest and hushed her. "It's okay Judy, it's just a dream," he said in a calming voice. She cried and held onto him. She loved the feeling of his fur between her fingers. He stroked her ears and she cried. He soothed her by rocking from side to side and humming. Judy took deep breaths and began to calm down. Eventually, Julian let go of her and laid her on the bed. "Wait, Julian," Judy said sitting up. "Yeah," he asked. Judy lowered her head and said, "I want you to sleep by me tonight." Julian walked over and got into the bed. Judy came close to him and laid her head on his chest and heard his heart beating. It was slow and it had a timing she hadn't heard before. Whenever he inhaled the heartbeat four times and it was the same when he exhaled. It was a relaxing beat. She listened to it until she fell asleep. She still had the odd nightmare but when she woke up she would be in his arms and she would go right back to sleep.

The next morning she woke up and saw that Julian was gone. She got up and looked around her house. She looked outside to the back garden and there he was. He was exercising, push-ups and sit-ups. Judy watched him as she switched on the kettle and took out the coffee. Once the kettle had boiled she added it to her coffee and pressed down the filter and poured her coffee into her mug. She added what she wanted and opened the back door and sat on the steps and watched Julian. She sipped on her coffee and watched. He stretched and wiped the sweat from his brow and looked at her. She smiled at him. Julian picked up his equipment and walked towards her. She stood up and looked at him as he patted her head and went inside to put his gear away. Afterward, he came back outside and sat next to her and sighed. "This is nice," he said looking at the garden. Judy leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "I chose this place because I love this garden. I can imagine some rose bushes and lavender. Maybe a vegetable patch and save on groceries." Julian looked at her and asked, "What about a pool?" Judy chuckled and said, "That's a good idea but maybe I should wait until I go back to work before I invest in one of those." Julian looked at her and asked, "Suspended?" Judy nodded and said, "Chief Bogo had no choice. I was underperforming and even went back to being a parking maid. But, I can't go back now, I have to get help first. I'll have to go to a therapist." Julian smiled to himself.

They stood up and went inside. Judy showered and got dressed. Julian did the same. They went to his car and drove to the train station. They booked their tickets and headed back to the house. "So how're things going with the strike force," Judy asked sitting on the couch. "I quit," Julian said. Judy looked at him in shock. "Wait, you quit," she asked. Julian chuckled and said, "Yeah, I couldn't handle the deaths anymore. So I resigned and now I teach MMA at the gym. I then used the money from the strike force and put it into investments and live off most of the money. The rest I put into a savings account." Judy nodded and said, "I see." Julian looked at her and asked, "Hey wanna do some crazy shit tonight?" Judy raised an eyebrow and asked, "Is some of it illegal?" Julian rocked his head from side to side and thought. "Only if you get caught," he said winking. "As long as we don't go to jail," Judy said with hesitation.

Julian dressed in all black and so did Judy. The sun went down and they left the house and walked down the street. They went to a convenience store and browsed what was on the shelves. "So what are we doing first," Judy asked. "Well, first we'll need some alcohol and two packs of cigarettes.," said Julian. "I didn't bring any money," said Judy. "Neither did I," said Julian winking at her. Judy cupped a gasp and said, "You better not steal anything." Julian held back a laugh and said, "You're way too easy Judy." Judy breathed a sigh of relief. Julian grabbed a 12 pack of cider and two packs of cigarettes and paid for the items. They left the store and went to the old drive-in which was never destroyed or taken down as a result of it being there before the modern Zootopia.

They sat with their legs dangling over the edge and looked at the stars. Julian opened two ciders and handed one to Judy. They clinked the bottles. "To tonight," said Julian. They drank and looked at the lights of the city. "It was always my dream to live here. When I graduated and came here I was so excited," said Judy reminiscing on the past. Julian sipped the bottle and said, "I followed your story, Judy. What you did was more than worthy of a medal. I would never have guessed that a humble little sheep could cause so much trouble." Judy smiled and said, "Well neither did I. Besides I did have a good partner." She saddened and looked at the stars yet again. Julian looked at her and smiled. "So how did you end up here," Judy asked. Julian chuckled and said, "Well, when I was younger I lived in a wooded area of the country. Winters were very cold and snowy. So cold that if you didn't wear boots you'd get frostbite in 10min. Spring was always nice, the trees bloomed green and the wildflowers were all over the meadows. Autumn was beautiful with the different colours of the leaves. Summer was the best. That warm sunshine on your fur and going to the lake made it even more worthwhile. As I grew older I realised that I wasn't cut out for what my family was involved in. So I left home going from city to city until I eventually reached here. So I decided to stay."

He picked up a box of cigarettes and took one out. He took out the lighter and lit it. He coughed and said, "Should have expected how nasty that is." Judy giggled. "What you think you can do better," Julian asked. Judy laughed and said, "I graduated top of my class I can handle anything." She took a cigarette and lit it and sucked. She coughed immediately. Julian laughed a hearty laugh. Judy punched his shoulder and said, "Shut up." She also laughed with him. They continued with their cigarette and ciders. "Do you really think your family is gonna be okay with me rocking up with you tomorrow," Julian asked. Judy blew out some smoke and said, "Well, I know they work with Gideon the fox, but they might get a bit worried seeing how you're a wolf." Julian smiled and snuffed out his cigarette. He finished his cider and opened another one. Judy asked for the other pack of cigarettes and put it in her pocket. They sat on the rooftop watching the cars go by. Julian pulled out another cigarette and smoked. Judy took another cider and drank it. They sat and talked and smoked and drank. After 10 bottles were gone Julian held his head between his eyes and said, "I don't know about you but I am feeling out of it." Judy groaned and said, "You know, I think you're really cute." Her breath was rife with booze. Julian scooted back away from the edge and pulled Judy with him. Judy giggled and said, "Heyyy, this fluff butt doesn't come for free." Julian chuckled and said, "I just don't want to stand near the edge while everything is spinning." He tried to stand but he was very wobbly. "Whoooaaaa, don't try standing drunk," he said. Judy stood up and wobbled, "If you can do it then soooo can I." She stepped forward and fell forward. Julian caught her and said chuckling, "Let's go home." They picked up the last two ciders and opened them once they were on the ground.

The two wobbled down the sidewalk with their hoodies up. They swayed from side to side and used each other as support. They drank the bottles and swayed more. Once the bottles were finished they threw them away. They walked together and got concerned looks from any animals that were out and about as well. "You know tonight was really fun," said Judy holding Julian's paw to stabilize herself. Julian chuckled and said, "Yep." Just then, however, they heard the distinct sound of a police siren. They stopped in their tracks and Julian whispered, "Bandanas." Judy nodded and pulled her bandana over her face so only her eyes were showing. The car rolled up and in the driver's seat, a leopard and his partner, was a panther. The leopard stopped the car and asked, "So what are you two doing out so late this time of night." Julian replied, "Oh no worries officers, we're just enjoying an evening stroll." The leopard looked at them and then said, "Well we saw you two swaying quite a bit. Are you two perhaps intoxicated?" Julian replied, "Oh no officer, we were just um, listening to the beat in our heads from a really catchy song."

The leopard pulled up the handbrake and said, "You do know that public intoxication is illegal." Julian chuckled and said, "Of course sir, but we were just swaying on our evening stroll." The leopard nodded at his partner and said, "Well, if you don't mind taking a breathalyzer we'll be on our way." Julian nodded and said, "Well you see, our house is just a few blocks from here and we gonna go visit family tomorrow so we gotta get to bed and we don't want to trouble our finest." The leopard shook his head and said, "Well sorry but it is protocol." The leopard got out and so did the panther. Judy's grip tightened on Julian's paw, either from fear of being exposed or going to jail. Julian leaned down and said, "Get ready to run." Judy nodded. The leopard got out two breathalizers and when he made his way over to them, Judy and Julian bolted. "Hey stop," said the panther. Julian and Judy ran as fast as they could despite being completely pissed face drunk. The officers got in the car and started to pursue. Judy followed Julian who jumped fences and ducked under construction equipment. The officers drove after them with sirens and the lights flashing. Judy and Julian ducked into an alleyway and panted as they laughed. The police car shone its lights on them and they ran again actually enjoying the adrenaline. They made their way to a construction site and the officers followed them inside. Julian and Judy hid from them behind some concrete pipes and watched the officers. They moved whenever the officers got closer. Julian looked and saw a way out. He and Judy stealthily made their way to the fence and found a hole. Julian let Judy go first and then he went after her.

They slowly made their way to the street again blending in with the shadows. Eventually, they got back to Judy's house. She unlocked the door and they slipped inside. The took down their hoodies and bandanas after switching on the lights. They panted and then looked at each other. "Hahahahahahahahahahhahaha," they both laughed. "I can't believe we did that," said Judy ecstatic from what just happened. "I know right we were nearly busted," laughed Julian. "I've never felt so alive before in my life," said Judy with her ears fully up. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. Julian wiped his brow and said, "That shit was crazy, I can't believe we ran from ZPD." Judy was getting hot so she tried taking off her hoodie but she was still reeling from the ciders. When she got the hoodie over her head she tripped over her feet and fell forward. Julian knelt down and caught her. Judy panted and looked at the floor. She then looked up and saw those hazel eyes. She felt her heart beating faster than before. She leaned forward and kissed him. Julian returned the kiss. Judy enjoyed the feeling of his lips, she couldn't tell if it was because she was drunk or actually wanted this to be more. They broke the kiss and they walked to Judy's room where they left their clothing behind on the floor. They kissed in the dark and they felt each other's warmth. They relished in every fiber of each other's fur. They embraced each other physically by looking into each other's eyes as the pale light from a half-moon shone through the window.

The alarm went off and Judy stirred awake slowly. She at up and immediately felt the headache. She looked around and looked at her phone, it was 5 am. The train was leaving at 6:15. Judy sat at the edge of the bed and realised that she wasn't wearing her pajamas. She looked to her left and saw Julian asleep. Judy sighed and hid her face in her paws. "Well done Hopps, you just slept with a wolf," she said to herself. She got off the bed and went to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth. She stepped inside the shower and let the water run down her body. She put a paw on the wall and started hating herself. "I can't believe it went so far. Is that who I am now? Some easy bunny? I should've stayed in bed yesterday," she said to herself. She stepped out of the shower and brushed her teeth.

Once she was finished she walked back to the room to place her toiletry bag into her suitcase. Julian knocked on her door, "May I come in?" "Yeah sure," she said. _Really Judy? You slept with him last night._ Her brain said in irritation. Julian was already dressed in ripped jeans and a pink t-shirt. Judy packed in her last-minute things and zipped her bag closed. "I got you some coffee and some hangover pills," said Julian sitting on the bed. Judy turned and looked up at him. She averted her gaze and Julian knew it all too well. "Look, Judy…" he began. "Just don't okay. I thought you were my friend, but you just used me," Judy snapped. Julian sighed and said, "Judy, I made sure nothing happened." Judy closed her eyes and asked, "Then why do I feel like shit?" Julian walked over to her and said, "Well, maybe it's because you feel guilty for being happy without Nick. He was a big part of your life and actually the love of your life. Moving on isn't on the table for you yet, and it shouldn't be with me."

The words stung more than Judy thought they would. Why was she feeling so much for him? Deep down, however, she knew he was right. "I do care for you and I will support you but right now, you need to work on yourself first before trying to move on from love so great," said Julian. Judy held herself and nodded. She drank the tablets and coffee. The two of them grabbed their bags and made their way to the train station. They waited on the platform for the train and once it arrived they stepped onto the train and it departed. As Judy sat next to Julian she kept thinking of the last thing she remembered from last night.

Why did the kiss feel so right?

**A/N: Well that's it for chapter 3. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and please do give recommendations on how to make this a better story. I personally have dealt with depression and if you or any of your loved ones or people you know are struggling, please do contact helplines or reach out to others. Sometimes it is better to talk than to bottle everything up. Hopefully, chapter 4 will be up soon. Until then stay awesome.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys and welcome to chapter 4. Hope you are enjoying this story so far. It is rated m for a reason and I would suggest reading something else if you are underaged I suggest reading something better suited for you. I do not own Zootopia or anything associated with it. I only own OCs and any other elements that are not present in Zootopia. Enjoy ; )**

The train pulled into the station at Bunnyburrow. Judy got her suitcase and headed towards the door. She stepped onto the platform with Julian. She looked around and saw her parents waiting for her. Judy walked over to them and Julian followed. "Judy," said her mother as she grabbed her into a tight hug. "Hi mom," said Judy hugging her mom back. "Hey, Jude the dude," said her dad putting a paw on his daughter's shoulder. She hugged her dad and sighed. Julian watched the bunnies and looked at the train as it left. "Mom, dad, this is Julian," said Judy gesturing towards Julian. He knelt down and said, "A privilege to finally meet you," he said smiling.

"Stu Hopps," said Judy's dad shaking the wolf's paw. "My you have some big paws," he said smiling. Julian smiled and said, "Yeah, runs in the family." "I'm Bonnie," said Judy's mom. Julian shook her paw and said, "Pleased to meet you." "Well then, what are we standing around for, let's get going," said Stu smiling. Judy and Julian walked with her parents to the truck. Judy sat in the cab with her parents while Julian got into the back with the luggage and they rode to the family farm.

They arrived at the farm and Julian jumped off the back and looked at the farm. Judy and her parents got out of the truck and grabbed the luggage. Judy looked at Julian who stared at the fields that were bathed in the sunlight. "Hey, is he alright there Jude," said Stu. Judy turned away from Julian and said, "He hasn't seen the country side." Julian closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air. He smiled and put his paws into his pockets as he walked with Judy and her parents. They entered the house and Judy was rushed by her many siblings who all hugged her. She laughed and smiled with them. Julian was also swarmed by the siblings and their many questions. He answered them as best as he could and they were satisfied.

"Sorry about all that," said Judy looking at Julian. He smiled and said, "No worries. I had a few siblings as well." "Well time for me to head back out to the fields, those crops won't tend to themselves," said Stu as he saluted to the others. A few of the siblings went with him as well. Bonnie put on her sun hat and said, "Well, I'm off to harvest our berries as well. Glad you two could come visit." She left and so did the rest of the siblings. Judy placed her suitcase at the foot of the stairs and so did Julian. "So, wanna do some work," Judy asked gesturing to the door. Julian smiled and said, "Why not?"

They exited the house and made their way to Stu who was harvesting the vegetables. "Need some help there dad," Judy asked. Stu looked up and smiled. "Glad to see that the country girl is still inside you," he said. Judy giggled and said, "Julian can help with the stacks if you need help." "Well, I'd really appreciate that a lot. Your siblings are running everywhere gathering the rest of the crops," said Stu dusting off his hands. He led the two to the stacks of vegetables that had already been sorted into their crates and sacks. "Now we just need to get these onto the trailer and we'll be golden," said Stu. The two bunnies and the wolf got to work. "So Jude, is the wolf your new…boyfriend," Stu asked as he lifted a crate. "Don't worry dad, he's just a friend," Judy replied as she slung a sack over her shoulder. "Oh, well I'm just saying I don't mind if you were to date him," said Stu. Judy smiled and said, "I'm glad you and mom are more open nowadays."

Stu placed the crate on the trailer and said, "You changed us Judy, and we'll always be grateful." He placed a paw on her shoulder with a warm smile. Julian lifted two sacks over his shoulder and walked to the trailer. Judy watched him as she wiped the sweat from her brow. She lifted another sack and Julian lifted a crate. Judy watched him as his muscles flexed from the weight of the crate and she started to feel hotter for some odd reason. After a few hours the crates and sacks were all loaded onto the trailer. "Welp, that should be it from my side," said Stu.

He thanked Judy and Julian for their help and he walked off to find the rest of the children. Judy and Julian leaned against the trailer and caught their breath. "How was that," Judy asked stretching. Julian chuckled and said, "I've lifted animals heavier than five of those crates." Judy punched his shoulder and said, "Yeah right." Julian smiled and said, "Well, believe what you want." They made their way over to the berry patch and found Bonnie picking some strawberries. "Need some help," Judy asked. Judy stood up and said, "Yeah actually I could. I need you to pick the blueberries." Judy shifted nervously and looked towards the blueberries. "Oh right…I'm sorry dear I didn't mean to," said Bonnie. Judy wiped her nose and said, "It's fine."

She walked off towards the blueberries and picked up some gloves. Bonnie sighed and went back to the strawberries. "That could've gone better," said Julian. Bonnie sniffed. Julian knelt down next to her and said, "Hey, it's okay." Bonnie looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I should've let her pick the strawberries," she said wiping her tears away. Julian sat down and said, "Look, it's not your fault okay? She has a lot of healing to do and yes some things will cause her to get hit with memories. The key is to be patient and give her support. She'll cool off." Bonnie smiled and said, "Thank you. That means a lot." Julian nodded and headed in the direction where Judy went.

He found Judy picking the blueberries and placing them into small baskets. He started on the bush next to her and got to work. Judy was fighing back tears and eventually she started to sob. "They were his favourite," said Julian. Judy nodded biting her bottom lip trying to hold back her tears. Julian sighed and said, "It's okay to cry, Judy." She sat down and held her paws over her eyes as she sobbed. Julian sat down with her and took out the cigarettes and offered one to Judy. She took one and they lit them. Judy rubbed her eyes and said, "Nick would have loved this work. He loved his blueberries. Heh, then again he'd probably take a whole basket as payment." She took a drag of the cigarette. Once they finished their smokes they put the stumps in the box.

They finished up the berries and carried the baskets in the wheelbarrow back to Bonnie. "Hey mom, I'm sorry for how I acted," said Judy walking over to her mom. "It's okay darling. You're going through a tough time. I'll always love you," said Bonnie hugging her daughter. Judy returned the hug. They loaded all the berries into the massive refrigeration unit. They all headed back to the house. The younger siblings were fed dinner first and afterward went to their room. Stu, Bonnie, Judy and Julian sat at the table as they ate dinner. "I hope you don't mind the food," said Bonnie to Julian. He smiled and said, "It's not a problem." They ate and chatted to catch up.

"So Judy, how's it going at work," Stu asked. Judy looked down and said, "Bogo suspended me." "What? How come," Bonnie asked. "I couldn't function anymore without Nick. Work became harder and I hardly pitched up," Judy explained. "But, this was always your passion," said Stu sadly. Judy nodded and said, "I know. That's why I've decided to see a therapist." Bonnie held her paw and said, "We will always support you Judy. No matter what." Judy smiled and held her mom's paw in hers. "Your mom's right. We will always have your back," said Stu. Julian smiled at them. The three bunnies hugged and smiled at Julian. "Well don't be scared come over here," said Stu waving him over. Julian walked over and knelt down and hugged all of them.

Judy walked up the stairs while Julian helped with the dishes. She went to her old room and opened the door. She looked around and saw that not much changed. Her posters of Gazelle were still up and her cd collection was in its place. She placed her suitcase on her bed and sat down. She looked out her window and her foot started to pat. Eventually, Julian knocked on her door. "Hey," he said. Judy looked at him and said, "Hey." He walked over and sat on the bed and said, "This house is very nice." Judy nodded. "I guess I'll have to find a hotel or something," said Julian chuckling. Judy looked at him confused. "I don't think there's enough room for me," said Julian. "My parents will sort you out, I'm sure," said Judy.

Julian sighed and said, "I don't want to burden them" Judy rolled her eyes and got up. "Fine, I'll ask them," she said with a sly smile. She bolted. Julian called after her and chased her.

They scuffled to her parents who were watching some TV. "I'm gonna ask them," she said. "No you won't," said Julian. They tumbled into the lounge. "What is going on here," Bonnie asked looking at the two. Judy stood up and said, "Julian says he should find a hotel because he doesn't want to be a burden on you." "Well, unfortunately he's stuck with us because we can always make a plan," said Stu. "But there aren't any open rooms, and I'm too big to sleep on your couches," said Julian. "Then you can bunk with Judy," said Stu. Judy and Julian looked at each other. "Are you sure about that Stu," Bonnie asked with concern. Stu nodded and said, "I trust Judy. Besides, Julian looks like the type who wouldn't try anything anyway." Bonnie looked at the two and then back at her husband and said, "If you're sure then I'll support you."

Judy and Julian headed back up the stairs to her room and unpacked. "Your dad seems to know how to read other animals," said Julian. "You can say it's his special power," joked Judy. Julian smiled and said, "If you say so." Judy picked up a towel from her cupboard and said, "I'm gonna take a shower. After today's work I smell so bad." Julian walked over and said, "I'll be the judge of that." He took a deep sniff of Judy. He coughed and dramatically played dead. Judy rolled her eyes and groaned. "You're not funny you know that," she asked. Julian looked at her and said, "Can't talk I'm dead from the smell. Only true love's kiss can awaken the sleeping prince." Judy laughed and said, "You're the frog in the story." Julian looked at her and said, "Don't be jealous darling."Judy rolled her eyes and went to shower.

She entered the bathroom and slipped out of her dusty clothes. She opened the taps and once the shower was up to tempreture she took off her underwear and stepped inside. She washed herself and enjoyed the feeling of the water flowing over her body. She closed her eyes and embraced it. Her head was swimming around in thoughts but she couldn't settle on a single one. She had a feelting thought of red fur and a green floral shirt. Judy began to cry and hit the wall of the shower. She cried again because that thought led to the blueberries. Judy sobbed and slumped to the floor. She was so glad that the shower was running to mask her crying. She gripped her shoulders too tightly and she started to bleed. She wiped her tears and turned the shower off. She stepped outside and wrapped herself in the towel.

She walked back to her room and closed the door. Julian was sitting on the floor and was meditating. Judy walked over to her bag and pulled out her pajamas. She pulled on her top and shorts. She hung her towel on the chair and sat on the bed. "You hurt yourself," said Julian. Judy looked up at him and said nothing. "I can smell the blood from your shoulders and your nails," said Julian as he uncrossed his legs and walked over to her. Judy hid her face in her paws and whispered, "I keep thinking of Nick." Julian sat next to her and she cried into his chest. "It's okay, Judy. You're allowed to miss him. He was special to you and you to him. I'm certain that he continued to fight until the end," said Julian stroking her ears. Julian climbed onto his lap and gripped his shirt and cried audibly. Julian hugged her and stared out of the window. Judy breathed in and started to calm as she reached for the cigarettes in Julian's pocket.

The two got onto the roof just outside her window and took out two cigarettes, lit them and began to smoke. Judy wiped her eyes and asked, "When will it get easier?" Julian took a drag and breathed out. "Everyday, but you've got to do it everyday," he replied. Judy took a drag and sniffed. "I never thought I'd be a smoker. I was always against it but here we are," she commented. Julian chuckled and said, "I avoided it as well. It's addictive but nevertheless, we're on these things together." Judy smiled and took another drag. They snuffed out the cigarettes and wrapped them in some tissue and threw them in the bin. They climbed into bed and went to sleep.

The next morning Judy woke up and saw she was still in Julian's arms. She laid in the silence and looked at her ceiling. She wondered what she was doing. What the fuck am I doing? I keep thinking of Nick but Julian is the only one who seems to be helping me. Maybe I do need therapy. She slipped out of his arms and climbed onto the roof to have a smoke.

She lit the cigarette and took a drag. She looked at the fields as the sun rose over them. I really hate this. She held her head in her paws and asked, "What is wrong with me?" She was more confused than ever and hated herself at this point. "I'm falling in love and Nick isn't even gone for one year," she said to herself. She finished the cigarette and snuffed it out. She headed back into the room and saw Julian stretching. He was dressed in a shorts and a hoodie. "Going somewhere," she asked. Julian stretched his legs and said, "Gonna jog. You know the area better than me, thought you could be my buddy." Judy smiled and said, "I'd love to." She pulled on her sports bra and jogging shorts with running shoes.

The two made their way downstairs and out the front door. They joggeded down the driveway and ran along the side of the road. Judy led the way while Julian was a pace behind her. It had been so long since Judy went jogging and she missed it. The feeling of the crisp morning air on her face and abdomen. The feeling of every muscle fiber tensing and releasing with each step. She breathed deeply at the air but realised she was unfit from not jogging for 6 months. They turned a corner and judy stopped in front of a cafe. Julian stopped next to her and said, "I'm guessing you want to get something here." Judy smiled and nodded. They entered the cafe.

They sat down at one of the small tables and placed their orders. While they waited Judy looked at Julian. He patted his fingers on the table. "You okay," she asked. Julian looked at her and smiled. Judy smiled back and decided to reach her paw over to grip his. He held her paw in his and they looked at each other. "Judy Hopps. Is that you?" said an all too familiar voice. Judy looked up and saw Gideon Gray. "Gideon, hey it's great to see you again," she said as she stood up to hug him. "I heard what happened to Nick. Terribly sorry that it happened ya know," said Gideon. Judy sighed and said, "Yeah, gone too soon as some would say." "How are ya holdin' up anyways," Gideon asked. Judy sighed again and said, "A day at a time." Gideon smiled and turned to Julian. "Howdy, The name's Gideon Gray, but ya can just call me Gideon," he said shaking Julian's hand. "Name's Julian, nice to meet you," replied Julian.

"Hope yall enjoy your coffee, I gotta head off to work now. Don't be strangers ya hear," said Gideon as he put on his cap and headed out of the cafe. "Old friend of yours," Julian asked. "More like old bully turned friend," Judy replied. She reached over and helf his paw again. He didn't object at all. Could he be falling for me as well? The coffee arrived and they sipped on the hot beverages. Judy looked at Julian whenever he sipped his coffee. "So, do you compete in MMA," Judy asked. Julian looked at her and said, "Not professionally, I would mainly fight on the undercard bouts because I don't fancy getting beat up." "Would you teach me," Judy asked. Julian looked at her and asked, "Finally wanting to learn how to defend yourself?" Judy rolled her eyes as he smirked. She liked that about Julian, he was witty and knew when to take a joke.

After they finished their coffee and paid. They decided to walk back to the farm. Judy looked at his paw and wanted to try a little experiment. She moved her paw to his and intertwined her fingers with his and walked while holding his hand. He looked at her with question and she immediately retracted her hand. Okay we're not at holding paws yet. She thought to herself. They walked up the driveway and headed towards the house. "So when do you want to head back to Zootopia," Julian asked as they walked. "Tomorrow night, I'd like to be back there so I can start therapy on Monday," said Judy. Julian nodded and they continued walking. At that moment a sound rang out through the farm which sounded like a bang. Both Judy and Julian dropped to the floor. They crawled behind some crates. "What the fuck was that," Judy asked. "The fuck am I supposed to know," Julian retorted. They both sat there panting and trying to see where the sound came from.

"I've never heard anything like that in this town," said Judy. She began to hyperventilate. Julian sat there holding his ears and whispered to himself, "Not again, not again, please not again. I can't take it anymore." Judy felt ringing in her ears and she began to shake. Julian sat up against the crates and looked around and started to say what he saw. He began to calm down.

Judy held herself and shook like a leaf. Julian sat next to her and held her close to him and told her to breathe. Judy took deep breathes. Eventually, she calmed down and they sat in silence. "I could really use a smoke right now," said Julian. Judy cuddled up to him and nodded. They stood up and continued the walk to the house. Once they got to the patio they saw Stu talking to Bonnie. "Is everything alright," Judy asked as she climbed the steps. Stu turned to her and said, "Well the truck had a blocked exhaust and blew a gasket. It was pretty loud and your mother was worried for your siblings." Judy breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank goodness. Julian and I thought somethig happened." Julian climbed the steps and had a blank expression but his eyes were primed open and had deep thought in them. "You okay there bud," Stu asked reaching out a paw, Julian grabbed it and began to squeeze. Stu yelped in pain and Bonnie tried prying the wolf's paw open. To no avail. Stu groaned at the pain and fell to one knee. Judy took initiative to kick Julian in the stomach. He snapped out of his trance like state and immediately let go of Stu's paw.

"Oh shit," he said as he knelt down next to Stu, who was holding his paw. "I'm sorry I didn't meant to…" Julian began. "Get off my property," Stu said. Julian looked at him with concern. "Scram already dagnabbit," Stu yelled. Julian looked at Bonnie and Judy and took off down the driveway. "Julian wait," Judy called after him. It fell on deaf ears. Stu stood up grasping his paw and said, "Good riddance. Damn wolves, they think they're so tough just cuz they're big." He went inside with Bonnie following close behind. Judy sighed and went inside as well. She went up to her room and packed her suitcase as well as Julians. She then changed her clothes to her jeans and pink plad shirt. She picked up her suitcase and took it downstairs. Then she grabbed Julian's and brought it downstairs.

"Where are you going," Stu asked from the kitchen as his paw was being bandaged up. Judy placed the bags by the door and said, "Back to Zootopia." "But you just got here," Stu said. Judy looked out the window and said, "It's not Julian's fault dad. There's something wrong with him." "Bet your ass there is, he's still wild," said Stu. "No, I saw what wild is. This was something different. Something worse," said Judy. "Come on Judy, are you seriously gonna walk out from your family for a wolf," Stu asked in anger. Judy looked outside and said, "You don't know my reasons." "Well maybe if you called more," Stu retorted as he stood up. "I don't call because you two are always worried," Judy snapped. "Because we care about you," yelled Stu. "Dammit dad, things are different now," Judy snapped as she turned to face her father. Stu walked over and said, "After everything, we supported your dreams of becoming a cop, we supported your relationship with Nick, Hell we even came to his funeral," yelled Stu. Judy shook her head and said, "Don't you dare disregard Nick!" Stu scoffed, "He was a fox Judy." "He was my world!" Judy yelled. She wiped away her tears and looked away. "I tried to commit suicide okay," Judy finally managed to say.

Bonnie came over and looked at her daughter, she was sad and concerned. "I tried to drown myself. I wanted to be free from the pain I've been feeling for six fucking months now. I have been depressed. But you wanna know who came to save me? Julian! He came to fucking save me from drowning! He convinced me to go see a therapist. He's been helping me get back to my old self before Nick died," Judy said with tears in her eyes. Stu stood there in disbelief. Bonnie reached out and Judy smacked her paw away. Judy ran out of the house crying. She ran, she didn't care where to but she just ran. She went beyond the town and kept running. Eventually, she stopped at a bridge. She walked over and looked at it. It spanned a river and was made out of bricks and concrete. She walked to the middle of the bridge and looked down. The river was rushing past and she could see the rocks down below. She sighed and pulled out the cigarettes. She lit one and took a drag. She blew out the smoke and wiped her eyes as the tears formed. She began to cry and she sobbed. Why does this keep happening? I'm so tired of crying now. I just want this pain to go away now! She wiped her tears and looked over the bridge. Just jump. She looked around. Jump, no one will see. She took a final drag of the cigarette. Julian abandoned you. You can finally take the pain away. Judy lifted herself onto the edge of the bridge. You can finally be with Nick.

Judy looked at the sky and saw the clouds had rolled in. "Ironic, today started with such promise and now look," she said to herself. She looked down at the water. She felt the urge to just fall forward. She looked around again to make sure no one was around. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. She felt herself sway forward. "I already tried that," said a familar voice. Judy's eyes opened and she flailed her arms to balance herself. She looked behind her and saw Julian. "What do you mean," Judy asked with tears. Julian walked over and took out a cigarette and lit it. "Tried jumping," he said as he blew out some smoke. Judy looked down and asked, "What stopped you?" Julian scratched his head. "Something, I don't know," he said. Judy looked at the river and asked, "Will you save me this time?" Julian leaned on his arms and said, "That's up to you this time. Because one day, you'll have to save yourself, and I won't be there to pull you out." Judy looked down at the river and closed her eyes…

**A/N: Well that should do it for Chapter 4. Hope you are enjoy this story as I am writing it. Remember if you or someone you know is struggling with depression and self harm, do not be afraid to seek help. There are many anti suicide hotlines, use them please. Stay awesome and keep reading and remember. It gets easier. 3**


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